When you are grieving, knowing you need support and knowing what kind of support would actually help are two different things.
You may want people who understand, practical ways to work with difficult days, a better understanding of what you are experiencing, or individual help with something that feels especially complicated.
There are many forms of grief support, including support groups, grief counseling, coaching, mindfulness, meditation, journaling, educational resources, and community. You may use more than one over time. The place to begin is with what is happening in your life now and what you need help with.
What kind of grief support do you need?
Grief can affect far more than how you feel about a loss. It can change sleep, concentration, relationships, routines, your sense of identity, and the way you imagine your future. Sometimes you want to talk about the person who died or what happened. Other times, you may be more concerned with getting through the workday, settling your mind enough to sleep, or figuring out how to handle a family gathering.
Instead of starting with What am I supposed to do about my grief?, try asking What do I need right now? You might need connection, information, time to reflect, practical coping tools, or focused one-on-one support.
This is one reason I developed my 8-Step Mindfulness & Grief System. Rather than treating grief as a problem with one solution, the framework brings together mindfulness, self-compassion, journaling, movement, continuing bonds, and other practices that can help you notice what you need and respond with greater awareness and choice.
Would a grief support group help?
A support group can give you something even caring friends and family may not be able to provide: regular time with people who understand something about grief from the inside.
You may find yourself talking about things that are difficult to explain elsewhere. You might hear someone describe an experience you thought was yours alone. There can also be relief in spending time with people who aren't expecting you to be finished grieving or asking you to make your experience easier for them.
Different groups work in different ways. Some are primarily a place to share. Others combine conversation with education or practices such as meditation, journaling, and movement. Hospice organizations, hospitals, community organizations, private practitioners, and online programs may all provide bereavement support groups.
If you are looking for an online group, Awaken is the live grief support part of my Mindfulness & Grief School. We meet twice each week for mindfulness-based grief support, with additional opportunities to practice meditation and journaling, learn through courses, use guided practices, and connect with the community.
What if you want something you can do with your grief?
Talking can be helpful, but conversation is only one way to work with grief. Sometimes you want something practical to do when your mind keeps circling the same thought, your body is carrying stress, or an emotion catches you by surprise.
Mindfulness can help you notice what is happening without immediately trying to change it. Meditation gives you a structured way to practice that attention. Journaling can help you put words to something that has been difficult to name. Movement can give you another way to notice and respond to what is happening in your body.
I use all of these in my work because there isn't one practice that fits every person or every moment. You might begin with my Guided Meditation for Grief and Loss when you want a meditation to follow, or try The Memory Jar if writing and remembering feel more useful.
Inside the Mindfulness & Grief School, these practices become part of an ongoing resource library. You can also practice with me and the community during our weekly Meditation & Journaling group.
How can mindfulness support grief and loss?
Mindfulness is often misunderstood as clearing your mind or becoming calm. I think of it much more practically: paying attention to what is happening in the present moment so you have more information about what you need and how you want to respond.
During times of grief, you might notice that your thoughts have returned to the same conversation for the twentieth time. You may realize your jaw is clenched, you have been holding your breath, or you haven't eaten since breakfast. You might notice sadness underneath your irritation or discover that what you need most is a break.
Awareness gives you somewhere to begin.
Mindfulness is at the heart of the 8-Step Mindfulness & Grief System I have developed through my work with grieving people. Meditation, journaling, movement, self-compassion, and reflection give you different ways to explore your experience rather than relying on thinking and talking alone.
You are not practicing so you can become good at grief. You are learning to recognize your own experience and develop ways to care for yourself as it changes.
When might individual grief support be helpful?
There are times when you may want more focused attention than a group can provide. Perhaps the circumstances surrounding the death were complicated. You may be dealing with changes in your relationships, identity, work, or family at the same time. You may simply want dedicated time to sort through what is happening and decide what would be useful next.
My private grief coaching sessions give us 70 minutes to focus on what is happening in your life now. Depending on what you bring to the session, our work may include conversation and reflection, mindfulness, journaling, self-compassion, grounding, movement, continuing bonds, or practical ways to care for yourself between sessions.
Grief coaching, grief counseling, and psychotherapy serve different purposes. If you are looking for diagnosis or treatment of a mental health condition, psychotherapy with an appropriately licensed professional is the right resource. Hospice programs and other bereavement services may also provide counseling or referrals in your community.
The question isn't which service is universally better. It is which kind of support fits what you need.
What if your loss wasn't a death?
Bereavement is grief related to death, but death is not the only loss that can profoundly change your life.
Divorce, breakup, estrangement, changes in health, caregiving, relocation, loss of work, changing family roles, and changes in identity can leave you grieving what was as well as what you expected your life to become. Sometimes the loss is obvious to everyone around you. Sometimes very few people recognize it as grief.
These experiences can include secondary losses as well. The end of a marriage, for example, may also mean changes in your home, finances, friendships, routines, family relationships, identity, and imagined future.
I explore these experiences in my work on non-death and invisible grief and in my book Navigating Loss. If your grief is connected specifically to divorce, breakup, estrangement, or a changing relationship, you can also explore my Attachment, Breakups & Relationship Loss resources.
Whatever the source of your grief, you do not need to compare it with someone else's loss to determine whether it matters.
What if friends and family don't understand?
People can love you and still have no idea what to do with your grief. They may change the subject when you mention the person who died, offer advice when you want to be heard, compare your experience with someone else's, or expect you to feel differently because a certain amount of time has passed.
This can make an already difficult experience more isolating.
Community is one reason grief support groups can be helpful. You have a place to talk about what is happening without spending half the conversation explaining why it still matters. You also get to hear from other people who are finding their own ways to live with loss.
That does not mean everyone in a group will experience grief the way you do. They won't. What matters is creating a compassionate space where those differences are respected and no one needs to win the grief Olympics.
This is an important part of how I facilitate Awaken inside the Mindfulness & Grief School. The group gives you a place to practice, reflect, and connect with other people while remaining the authority on your own experience.
Where can you find bereavement support after a death?
If you are grieving the death of a loved one, there are several places to look for support. Hospice programs often provide bereavement services to family members after a death, and some offer groups or educational programs to the broader community. Hospitals, funeral homes, faith communities, and local organizations may also maintain referral lists.
The circumstances of the death may lead you toward more specialized resources. Someone grieving the death of a child may benefit from an organization such as Compassionate Friends. Pregnancy and infant loss resources may offer support specifically for parents grieving a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death.
You can also consider whether you prefer local or online support, a general grief group or one focused on a particular type of loss, and whether you are primarily looking for conversation, education, practical tools, or professional guidance.
The best starting point is not necessarily the service with the longest list of credentials or the most complicated program. Look for clear information about what is offered, who provides it, and whether the approach makes sense to you.
What should you look for in a grief support resource?
A good grief resource should help you understand what it offers. Who facilitates the service? What is their training and experience? What happens when you participate? Is it a peer support group, an educational program, coaching, grief counseling, psychotherapy, or something else?
I would also pay attention to how the organization talks about grief. Be cautious of anyone promising a universal timeline or suggesting there is one correct way to complete the grieving process. Grief is shaped by the relationship, circumstances of the loss, your history, culture, current life, available support, and many other factors.
I have worked in the field of grief and bereavement for many years as a thanatologist, mindfulness teacher, Certified Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist, author, and grief educator. One of the things that experience continues to reinforce for me is that a framework can give us direction without becoming a formula.
That principle runs through my Mindfulness & Grief School. You have opportunities for live support, mindfulness practice, education, reflection, and community, while deciding what is useful for you.
Which kind of grief support is right for you?
By this point, you may already have a better sense of what you are looking for. Rather than choosing based on what you think you should be doing, consider the kind of help you want now.
If you want ongoing support and community, the Mindfulness & Grief School brings several parts of my work together. Inside you'll find Awaken, with two live Mindfulness & Grief Support classes each week, a weekly Meditation & Journaling group, courses, guided practices, and a private community. It gives you a place to learn about grief and practice living with it alongside other people who understand loss.
If you want individual attention, private grief coaching gives us dedicated time to focus on your particular circumstances and what you need. Our work is practical and collaborative, drawing from mindfulness, grief education, journaling, self-compassion, movement, and other practices as appropriate.
If your grief is connected to divorce, breakup, estrangement, or a changing relationship, start with my relationship loss resources. This part of my work brings grief, mindfulness, and attachment together to help you understand patterns, reconnect with your needs, strengthen self-trust, and make your own choices about what comes next.
If you want to begin on your own, explore the 8-Step Mindfulness & Grief System, try a guided meditation, pick up a journal, or read more about the particular kind of loss you are experiencing.
The common thread through all of these resources is learning to pay attention to your own experience. Grief changes, and so can the support you choose.
What to remember about finding grief support
- Start with what you need now, whether that is connection, information, practical tools, individual attention, or a combination.
- A grief support group can provide community and a place to be with people who understand loss.
- Mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and movement give you practical ways to work with grief outside of conversation.
- Individual grief coaching can provide focused support for your particular circumstances, while grief counseling and psychotherapy are available when clinical mental health care is needed.
- Grief includes bereavement as well as non-death losses such as divorce, estrangement, health changes, caregiving, work, identity, and other major life changes.
- Look for resources that respect individual differences rather than prescribing a universal grieving process.
- The Mindfulness & Grief School brings live support, meditation and journaling, courses, guided practices, and community together in one place.
- Try what interests you. Keep what helps. Leave the rest.
