Private online divorce grief coaching
Divorce Grief Coaching to Help You Feel Like Yourself Again
Your mind keeps going back to the conversations, the decisions, and the things you wish had been different. You want to think about your ex less, trust yourself again, and have something to look forward to.
I'm Heather Stang. I help people work with the grief of divorce, understand relationship patterns, and develop practical ways to handle the moments that keep pulling them back into the past.
Together, we'll focus on what feels difficult now, from sleepless nights to co-parenting conversations, while making room for the life you want to build.
Book one session at a time. If you’re not satisfied, I’ll refund your payment.
You're Tired of Thinking About It
One text from your ex can ruin an otherwise good day. You replay conversations, wonder what you missed, or find yourself getting angry about something that happened months ago.
Maybe you're relieved the marriage is over but still miss the life you shared. Perhaps you're trying to co-parent with someone who knows exactly how to push your buttons. Or you're questioning your judgment and wondering how you'll ever trust yourself in another relationship.
Divorce can affect nearly every part of your life. Sleep, concentration, friendships, family routines, finances, and your sense of who you are can all change. Even when ending the marriage was your decision, there's still plenty to grieve.
And while part of you wants to understand what happened, another part is ready to spend a lot less time thinking about it.
That's where our work begins.
There Is More Than One Loss
When a marriage ends, you lose more than a relationship. You may also lose your home, financial security, shared friendships, family routines, and the future you expected to have.
Some losses are obvious. Others are harder to explain, especially when your former partner is still part of your life or people assume you should be happy the marriage is over.
Grief researchers have names for some of these experiences. Disenfranchised grief describes losses that aren't fully recognized or supported by others. Ambiguous loss involves uncertainty about someone's presence or absence, which can be especially difficult when a relationship changes without a clear emotional ending.
Then there's attachment.
Our attachment patterns influence how we respond to closeness, rejection, uncertainty, and conflict. They can help explain why you keep looking for reassurance, struggle to maintain boundaries, or feel compelled to revisit a conversation long after it's over.
Understanding what's happening can bring some relief. It also gives us a useful place to begin making changes.
How we can work together
What Would Make Life Easier Right Now?
You might arrive with one difficult conversation on your mind or a bigger question about how you want to live. We'll start with what matters most to you.
Get Out of the Thought Loops
Explore what keeps pulling your attention back to what happened. Use mindfulness and self-compassion to notice the loop and choose what to do next.
Understand Your Relationship Patterns
Look at your emotional needs, attachment patterns, and familiar reactions, without reducing your whole relationship to a label.
Set Boundaries You Can Keep
Practise what to say, when to respond, and how to handle contact with your ex, particularly when you share children or responsibilities.
Make Daily Life More Manageable
Find realistic ways to support sleep, rest, movement, and connection when even ordinary tasks feel harder than they used to.
Learn to Trust Your Decisions
Make space to hear your own needs and values, whether you're considering reconciliation, dating again, or simply deciding what comes next.
Make Room for a Life You Enjoy
Reconnect with people, interests, and possibilities that deserve more of your attention, without pretending the marriage didn't matter.
We can take this one concern at a time. You choose what feels useful, and we build from there.
What Happens in Your Session
We start with what's happening in your life.
Maybe an argument with your ex has left you upset for days. You're struggling to sleep, questioning a decision, or noticing a relationship pattern you want to change.
We'll talk about what's going on, explore what may be contributing to it, and identify something useful to work on together.
Depending on your needs, our session might include mindfulness, conscious relaxation, journaling, body awareness, attachment exercises, or practicing how to approach a difficult conversation.
I explain why a practice might help and guide you through it. We can adapt it to what feels comfortable and useful for you.
Before we finish, we'll identify something specific you can try in daily life. That might be a way to respond when anxiety builds, a new approach to communicating with your ex, or a small self-care habit that supports you during a difficult week.
You'll leave with a clearer understanding of what we're working on and something practical to try when the issue comes up again.
I've Been Through Divorce, Too
When I got married on Sanibel Island, dolphins jumped out of the water during our wedding ceremony. I thought it was a sign that the universe approved.
Ten years later, we divorced. Turns out the dolphins were just doing what dolphins do.
What surprised me wasn't simply how much the marriage ending hurt. It was how many different losses came with it.
There was the home we had to sell, the financial upheaval, the betrayal, and the future I'd imagined. I also had to reckon with the ways I'd ignored my own instincts, tried to keep the peace, and put other people's needs ahead of mine.
Even though I was the one who left, I sometimes questioned whether I had a right to grieve.
I tell this story in my book, Navigating Loss: Wisdom and Self-Care for Times of Grief and the Challenges of Life, alongside other experiences of loss that often go unrecognized.
The book explores divorce, estrangement, changing identities, and the less visible losses that can affect how we see ourselves and our future. It also offers mindfulness practices, self-care strategies, and reflections to help people adapt when life hasn't turned out as expected.
One lesson from my own divorce has stayed with me: I can understand why I made certain choices without continuing to make them. Learning to recognize my needs, listen to my body, and trust my judgment changed how I cared for myself and how I approached relationships.
Those are skills I continue to practice, and they're central to the work I do with clients.
Why I Combine Grief and Attachment
My personal experience is one part of what I bring to this work. I've spent more than 20 years helping people understand grief and develop practical ways to care for themselves through loss and major life changes.
I hold a master's degree in Thanatology, the study of death, dying, and bereavement. I'm also a certified yoga therapist (C-IAYT) and a Certified Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory Coach, trained in the approach developed by Thais Gibson.
I'm the author of Mindfulness & Grief, From Grief to Peace, and Navigating Loss, and the creator of the 8-Step Mindfulness & Grief System.
My background in grief helps us understand the many losses that accompany divorce, including those that may have been overlooked or dismissed. My attachment training helps us explore relationship patterns, emotional needs, and the ways we respond when connection feels uncertain.
Mindfulness brings these areas together in daily life.
It helps us notice what's happening in our thoughts, emotions, and bodies, particularly in the moments when old habits take over. With practice, we can experiment with different responses and make choices that better reflect our needs and values.
That's the work I want to help you do.
Is Divorce Grief Coaching Right for You?
Private coaching may be a good fit if you're:
- Going through a divorce, separation, breakup, or another significant relationship change.
- Exhausted by anger, anxiety, self-blame, or thoughts that keep circling.
- Trying to understand attachment patterns you want to change.
- Struggling with communication, boundaries, or ongoing contact with your ex.
- Questioning your decisions or finding it difficult to trust yourself.
- Interested in mindfulness and practical tools you can use in daily life.
- Ready to give some attention to the person you're becoming and the life you want to build.
You may be certain the relationship is over, wondering whether reconciliation is possible, or still trying to understand what you want.
We'll focus on helping you recognize your needs, understand your options, and make your own decisions.
A note about coaching: My approach is educational and supportive. It does not replace psychotherapy, mental health treatment, or crisis care. If you need clinical treatment, a licensed mental health professional is the appropriate source of support.
Private Divorce Grief Coaching
70 Minutes to Focus on What Matters Most
$150 for a 70-minute private online session
Your session includes:
- One-on-one coaching with me, Heather Stang.
- Time to explore the divorce grief or relationship issue that's affecting you most.
- Guidance informed by grief education, attachment theory, and mindfulness.
- Practical exercises or approaches chosen for your situation.
- A useful next step or practice to take into everyday life.
You can book a single session and decide afterward whether you'd like to continue working together. There are no required packages or long-term commitments.
100% Satisfaction Guarantee
I want our time together to feel worthwhile. If you're not satisfied with your session, I'll refund your payment in full.
Questions About Divorce Grief Coaching
What if I'm still grieving a divorce I wanted?
It's common to feel relief and grief about the same relationship. You may be glad the marriage ended while still missing the person, the familiar routines, or the future you once imagined. We can explore those different feelings and what they mean for your life now.
Can coaching help if I'm still in contact with my ex?
Yes. We can work on boundaries, communication, emotional reactions, and the practical challenges of continued contact. This can be especially helpful when you're co-parenting or sharing responsibilities after separation.
Do I need to know my attachment style?
No. We can begin with what's happening in your relationships and look at the patterns as they come up. Understanding attachment styles can be useful, but the practical work matters more than finding the right label.
What if I'm unsure whether to stay, separate, or reconcile?
We can explore the relationship, your needs, the patterns you're noticing, and what would need to change. I'll help you think through your choices without deciding the outcome for you.
Do I need experience with meditation?
No previous experience is needed. I'll introduce practices that fit your needs and explain how to use them. Mindfulness can involve meditation, but we may also work with journaling, body awareness, reflection, or exercises you can use during ordinary activities.
Do I need to commit to several sessions?
No. Each session is booked individually. Some people come with one specific concern, while others want ongoing support as they practice new skills and adjust to life after divorce.
Book your private session
Choose a Time to Talk
Bring what's taking up the most space in your life right now. We'll look at it together and find a practical place to begin.
Coaching is educational and supportive and does not replace psychotherapy, mental health treatment, or crisis care.