Even a secular holiday like Labor Day can trigger unexpected grief. This marker in time signals the end of summer, and with that reminds us that the winter holidays are not far off. If you are feeling a sense of dread after the long weekend, you are not alone.
The Shift from Summer to Fall: A Time of Transition
As Labor Day passes and the summer days grow short, a subtle but significant shift occurs. We may not always notice it consciously, but this time of year is a turning point in our schedules and mindsets.
Children head back to school, vacations draw to a close, and the whispers of the upcoming holidays begin to creep into our thoughts. Stores prematurely display pumpkins, turkeys, and Christmas trees, stretching out a season that can already feel overwhelming, especially if you're grieving.
Labor Day is the official marker for the transition from summer's ease to the structured demands of fall. Whether you're returning to work, settling your kids into school routines, or just feeling the change in the air, this shift can bring about a mix of emotions. While some people look forward to the cooler weather and the start of new projects, others may feel a growing sense of dread as the holidays loom on the horizon.
My Family's First Season of Grief
My uncle died in the fall. His birthday was in October, and he died by suicide just before Thanksgiving. For decades after, the shift in mood was palpable in my home. As the weather cooled, it brought back memories of those gut-wrenching phone calls and the ceremonies we never wanted to need to attend. Fall was always a heavy season in my childhood home.
The holidays were strained, filled with an unspoken heaviness, but it wasn’t just the holidays, every day that ended in "y" from September to December seemed to carry that same weight. The change in seasons was a reminder of the loss, making it harder to find joy in moments that were supposed to bring comfort.
For those of us who are grieving, this period of transition can be particularly challenging. The changing season often stirs up memories of loved ones we've lost, and the thought of facing the holidays without them can be daunting. Even the simple act of seeing holiday decorations in stores can trigger waves of sadness, anxiety, or even anger. It’s as if the world is moving on, while your grief still lingers, raw and unresolved.
Understanding the Triggers of the Holiday Season
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy and togetherness, but for someone who is grieving, it can feel like walking through a minefield of grief triggers. You might feel pressure to attend family gatherings or uphold traditions that no longer feel right. You may be grieving alone in a crowd, or exhausted by the idea of simply getting through the day.
This is also the time when Seasonal Affective Disorder can begin to set in, adding another layer to an already difficult time. You may notice your energy dropping, your motivation fading, or your emotions becoming harder to manage. These are not personal failures—they are reminders to slow down and tend to your heart.
If the holidays feel overwhelming, it may help to have a little structure. My Grief-Sensitive Winter Holiday Planner offers gentle, step-by-step guidance to help you create space for peace, comfort, and meaning—no matter how this season unfolds.
Preparing Yourself for the Season Ahead
Today, I invite you to take a moment for a mindful reset. This mindfulness exercise is here to help you bring both clarity and compassion to your experience as you move into the fall season. By taking a moment to reflect on your hopes and fears for the upcoming months, you’ll gain a clearer sense of what you need to navigate this time with greater ease.
I invite you to be gentle with yourself, acknowledging your emotions without judgment and offering yourself the same compassion you’d extend to a close friend. Through this practice, you can approach the challenges of the season with a calmer, more centered mindset.
This is a chance to pause, breathe, and reflect on how you want to navigate the coming months. Start by finding a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Allow yourself to settle into the present moment.
After a few minutes of silence, bring to mind the approaching holiday season. Think about what you hope for in the months ahead and what you fear might come up. Be honest with yourself because you deserve that level of self-compassion.
Journaling Exercise: A Mindful Transition
Take out a journal or a piece of paper and answer the following prompts. This exercise is based on the emotional processing tool, which helps you become aware of the stories you’re telling yourself and how they’re affecting your emotions.
- What fears are coming up for you?
Are you dreading certain events, conversations, or feelings? Are you afraid of being misunderstood, overwhelmed, or alone? - What are your hopes for the coming months?
These can be big or small. You might hope for moments of peace, reconnection, or a chance to honor your loved one’s memory in a new way. - Are the stories you're telling yourself true?
Our minds often get stuck in worst-case scenarios. Ask yourself if your fear is absolutely true. Is there another way to see the situation? - What do you need to feel more supported?
Do you need solitude or connection? A flexible plan? Fewer obligations? Give yourself permission to name your needs. - What is one small step you can take to meet that need?
Maybe it's setting a boundary. Or reaching out to someone who understands. Maybe it's joining a grief support group like Awaken. Even the smallest action matters.
This exercise isn’t about erasing your grief or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it’s about acknowledging where you are right now and giving yourself the care and compassion you need to move forward.
Support for Grief in the Holiday Season
The pre-holiday season can be overwhelming, especially when you’re grieving. But by taking time now to reflect, set intentions, and practice mindfulness, you can create a plan to navigate the months ahead with greater ease. Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing my best tips on how to handle the challenges of the season, so be sure to subscribe to my newsletter for more guidance and support.
And if you’re looking for extra help getting through this time, consider joining the Awaken Grief Support Course & Community. We’ll work together to find peace, connection, and healing as we move through this season of change. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. You deserve support, and it’s okay to ask for it.
Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.
