In embracing self-soothing practices you open a door to genuine self-healing. These mindful actions empower you to confront and manage your emotions, rather than sidestepping them through numbing. It's about building resilience from the inside out, providing yourself with the compassionate attention you deserve.
The strategies you employ to ease suffering and manage your emotions fall broadly into two categories: self-soothing and self-numbing. Both seem to offer relief, yet differ vastly in their long-term effects on our mental health and overall well-being.
Understanding The Difference Between Self-Soothing and Self-Numbing
Self-soothing refers to actions and thoughts that genuinely reduce your emotional distress and help you cope in a healthy way. These strategies involve awareness of feelings, acknowledgment of their impact, and behaviors that provide true comfort, self-compassion, and support emotion regulation.
Conversely, self-numbing is often a temporary escape that helps you avoid feelings and situations that you find unpleasant. While numbing might provide immediate relief, it typically delays the inevitable confrontation with distressing emotions and can lead to unhealthy habits or dependencies.
Getting to know what works best for you and what does not will not only help you ease current distress, but build resilience against future upset.
How to Distinguish Between Self-Soothing and Self-Numbing
The first step in distinguishing between self-soothing and self-numbing is awareness. Self-soothing actions are mindful and deliberate, aimed at addressing and processing emotions. They enhance your ability to understand and meet your own needs, so you nurture the part of you that is hurting and improve your well-being.
Self-numbing, however, often feels automatic or reactive, providing an immediate but temporary distraction from pain or stress. Common numbing behaviors include excessive consumption of alcohol, binge-watching TV, overeating (for me it is bbq crisps), or overindulge in substances. These activities might mask discomfort temporarily but often exacerbate feelings of guilt, shame, or loneliness later on.
Learning Self-Soothing Techniques
To cultivate self-soothing techniques, focus on activities that promote relaxation, connection, and emotional release in a healthy way. Techniques may include deep breathing exercises, meditation, gentle yoga, or engaging in a creative hobby like painting or writing. These activities are not just distractions but are practices that help you process and regulate your emotions constructively.
Another powerful tool is journaling. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for emotional expression and reflection. It allows you to track your emotional triggers and patterns, facilitating greater self-awareness and understanding.
Exploring Reparenting as a Self-Soothing Technique
Reparenting is a transformative self-soothing method that involves nurturing your inner child. This practice helps to heal old emotional wounds by providing the care and compassion that may have been lacking in one’s childhood. Reparenting involves talking to your inner child, acknowledging their needs, and providing the reassurance and love they require. This can be done through visualization exercises, where you imagine comforting your younger self, or through affirmations that address your inner child’s fears and insecurities.
Reparenting allows you to meet your emotional needs independently, reinforcing your capacity to manage stress and anxiety in a nurturing and sustainable way.
Implementing Mindful Self-Care
Mindful self-care involves regular practices that nurture both your body and mind. Whether it’s taking a long bath, reading a book, or spending time in nature, these activities should be done with full awareness and appreciation. Mindful self-care encourages a restorative dialogue within yourself, promoting resilience and emotional flexibility.
As you incorporate more self-soothing techniques into your life, you might notice a natural decrease in self-numbing behaviors. The more you practice being present with your emotions, the less you feel the need to escape from them.
Journaling Exercise to Differentiate Self-Soothing from Self-Numbing
To further explore and reinforce the understanding of self-soothing versus self-numbing, try this simple journaling exercise:
- List Current Coping Strategies: Write down all the activities you typically engage in when feeling stressed, anxious, or upset.
- Identify the Intent: Next to each activity, note whether the activity turns you towards what hurts so you can tend to it, or is a way to escape or take a break from the emotional distress.
- Assess the Outcome: Reflect on how you feel after each activity. Does it bring a sense of relief and calm that lasts, or do you feel the need to engage in the activity repeatedly to escape discomfort?
- Plan for Change: Choose one numbing behavior you’d like to replace with a soothing one. Outline a simple plan on how you can make this change, such as replacing 30 minutes of TV binge-watching with a 30-minute walk or a meditative practice.
By regularly assessing and adjusting your coping strategies, you can shift towards more self-soothing techniques that promote long-term emotional well-being and resilience.
Invitation to Join Me In Awaken Grief Support Program
If you find yourself struggling to differentiate or transition from self-numbing to self-soothing, consider joining my Awaken Online Grief Support Program. Here, you'll gain access to a community and resources that support mindful healing and growth, helping you cultivate healthy coping skills for resilience through grief and beyond. Join us to start your journey toward mindful self-care and transformative healing.
