Christmas is a season of memories—both joyful and bittersweet. When you’re grieving the loss of someone special, holiday traditions, festive lights, and family gatherings may shine a spotlight on their absence. While grief can make the holiday season feel heavy, it can also be a meaningful opportunity to honor your loved one and keep their memory alive.

Remembering My Loved Ones at Christmas

Christmas has always been filled with memories of the people I love, both those still here and those I’ve lost. Every December, I set out my grandmother’s vintage Christmas tree with those plastic “light bright” pieces that glow when the bulb inside lights up. It’s small, but it brings her warmth into my home every year.

Red was my grandfather’s favorite color, so it seems like he’s everywhere this season—in the decorations, the bows on presents, and the holly berries on the wreath by the door. My mom and I always laugh as we remember my Uncle Doug and how much he hated his food touching his plate—a real struggle at a holiday buffet with so many dishes. He also hummed while he ate—a testament to my grandmother’s cooking.

These memories make the season feel fuller, even when their absence is deeply felt. For me, honoring loved ones at Christmas isn’t about trying to “move on” but weaving their presence into the season in comforting and authentic ways. 

Here are thoughtful ways to celebrate the life of a loved one while creating new traditions that reflect love, remembrance, and hope.

Practice Mindfulness and Journaling for Personal Reflection

The holiday season can be overwhelming when you’re grieving, but practicing mindfulness and journaling can help you stay connected to your emotions while honoring your loved one’s memory. Set aside quiet moments to reflect through writing, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

Mindfulness Ideas:

• Memory Meditation: Sit quietly with a cherished photo or keepsake and recall a favorite memory. Allow yourself to fully experience the emotions it brings—both joy and sadness—wrapping yourself in love and compassion.
• Mindful Walk: Take a mindful walk outdoors, noticing sights, sounds, and scents that remind you of your loved one. Breathe deeply and let yourself be present in those moments.

Journaling Prompts:

• “One holiday tradition I miss the most is…”
• “A memory of you that makes me smile is…”
• “I will always remember…”
• More Holiday Grief Journaling Prompts

Create a Memory-Filled Ornament

Decorate your Christmas tree with ornaments that represent your loved one.

• Photo Ornaments: Add cherished photos of your loved one to clear ornaments or a memory wreath.
• Message Ornaments: Write special messages or memories on colored paper strips and tuck them inside a clear ornament.
• Symbolic Ornaments: Include their favorite color, initials, or a symbol that reminds you of them.

Each time you see these decorations, let their memory shine as part of your family celebration.

Set a Place at the Dinner Table

During family dinner or a gathering, set an extra place at the dining room table in memory of your loved one.

• Memorial Centerpiece: Create a centerpiece that evokes their memory, using a candle, greenery, photos, and other keepsakes.
• Share Memories: Invite your family to share a fond memory or story before, during, or after your holiday meal.

Give Gifts in Their Memory

Giving can be significant when tied to your loved one’s interests and causes.

• Cash Donation or Donations of Time: Contribute to their favorite charity, such as an animal shelter, homeless shelter, or child care center.
• Anonymous Gifts: Pay for a stranger’s holiday meal or send personalized messages in holiday cards.
• Keepsake Gifts: Share a small memento, such as a batch of cookies, holiday crafts, or a book with pictures that reflect their personality.

Remember Their Favorite Christmas Carols

Music is deeply evocative—it can stir powerful emotions. While some songs may feel too difficult to hear, the right melody can offer comfort, connection, and a sense of calm when you need it most.

• Playlists: Create a playlist of their favorite holiday songs.
• Sing-a-long: Host a family night where you gather around the tree with hot cocoa and sing their favorite tunes.

Practice Acts of Kindness in Their Honor

Honor your loved one’s legacy by spreading kindness.

• Charity Runs or Community Events: Organize or join a charity run dedicated to their memory.
• Pay It Forward at a Drive-Through: Cover the cost of a stranger’s meal or coffee at a drive-through as a simple act of kindness in your loved one’s honor.
• Acts of Service: Volunteer at an animal shelter or deliver meals to a homeless shelter.

Light a Remembrance Candle

Hold a candle ceremony on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning.

• Light a candle in honor of your loved one. 
• Consider adding their photo or decorating with a candle with pictures or even a flameless candle for safety.
• Use this moment for reflection, offering prayers, or sharing a special message aloud.

Continue a Cherished Holiday Tradition

Think about the family traditions your loved one cherished and carry them forward.

• Favorite Foods or Recipes: Bake their favorite cookies, prepare their exact dish, or create a traditional turkey roast or even a deep-fried turkey in their honor.
• Holiday Craft Night: Gather your family to create decorations inspired by their favorite holiday symbols.
• Storytime or Book Sharing: Read aloud from their favorite books or create a custom book with pictures that celebrate their life.

Start a New Family Tradition

Grief changes how we experience the holidays, but new traditions can offer comfort and connection.

• Memory Wreath: Create a special memorial wreath with paper slips featuring handwritten messages from family members.
• Remembrance Tree or Angel Tree: Set up a smaller remembrance tree or add an angel tree topper to your main tree in their honor.
• Letters to Heaven: Write notes or letters to your loved one, sharing your thoughts and feelings as part of your holiday ritual.

Be Gentle With Yourself

While honoring your loved one can be deeply comforting, give yourself permission to step back if certain traditions feel too painful right now. It’s okay to simplify celebrations or skip events altogether. Grief is an emotional time, and you deserve extra care and compassion. If you are feeling you would benefit from extra support, try my Holiday Grief Support Group free for 14 days for a limited time.

Final Thoughts

Honoring a loved one at Christmas is about keeping their memory alive while embracing the love they left behind. Whether you carry forward a cherished tradition, create a new one, or spread kindness in their name, each act weaves their presence into the holiday season in a lasting way.

You are never alone on this journey.