How To Get Over A Breakup With Meditation

By Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT

Posted: January 17, 2017

If you are wondering how to get over a breakup, you are not alone. Healing heartbreak is an inevitable part of life, but when things fall apart, the pain that follows can feel like a permanent state of being rather than a passing season of life.

We tend to feed our negative feelings after a breakup, spending hours on end replaying the breakup scene and rewriting the script. We vacillate between blaming ourselves and crucifying our ex. We avoid our pain by over eating, binge drinking, or maybe diving into a mindless tryst to temporarily soothe our pain.

If you feel like someone needs to save you from yourself, you are right. And that someone is you. 

Meditation Is Your Super Power For Getting Over A Breakup

Much like a superhero must put on her cape decide to save the day, you have to choose to take control of your internal experience. You may feel overwhelmed, powerless even, but in reality you have more control over your mind and emotions than you might think. The key is choosing to exert your power. Not sure where to start? Here are a few tips and guided exercises that will help you get over your breakup with meditation:

Get Over A Breakup With Meditation

Meditation To Rest Your Worried Mind

get over a breakup using meditationThe reality is that focus and concentration are skills that can be learned. Once they are mastered, you can choose take a break from the parade of painful thoughts by consciously choosing where to place your attention. Try one of these short meditations 5-10 minutes at a time, twice a day:

Counting Meditation:  Mentally count down each exhale starting with the number ten. When you reach the number one, count up to ten again. When you forget your number, or get distracted, just start over.

Personal Mantra Meditation: Focus your attention on just your exhales. Each time you breath out, in your mind silently say a soothing word or phrase to yourself. “Peace,” “I Am Healed,” “Let go, let God,” or anything else that feels right to you. Each time you daydream or your mind wanders, just begin again.

Focus Meditation: Use the play button below to try the Focus Meditation for yourself. Click the down arrow button to save the guided meditation.

Meditation To Deal With Emotions From A Breakup

Emotions combine two distinct sensory experiences: thought and physical sensation. Paired together they create an overwhelming  cocktail of feeling. But when you shift your attention just to the physical sensation, and let go of the story, powerful transformations can occur.

Just like depriving oxygen from a fire, removing the mental story from your emotions will turn down the heat. As you meditate on your physical body, you will remove the suffering and begin to connect intimately with the actual pain of the situation.

This takes courage, but as meditation teacher Shinzin Young illustrates: Suffering = Resistance x Pain. Remove the resistance, remove the suffering. You will remove the add-ons – the self-deprecation, blame, and shame that make you feel bad about feeling bad.

The paradox here is that by looking directly at your own truth, your own real sensory experience of loss, your pain will feel more manageable.

Coping With Grief & Difficult Emotions: Use this guided meditation to separate out your thoughts and cognition from your physical experience to manage the emotional pain after a breakup.

Other Ways To Get Over A Breakup

There are just as many ways to get over a broken heart as there are ways to stay stuck in your pain. Meditation can help you get over breakup, and even help you improve your overall well-being and personal strength. To learn more healing techniques, check out the Healing Heartbreaks Summit.

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Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT

About the author

Heather Stang, M.A. is the author of Living with Grief and the guided journal, From Grief To Peace. She is the creator of the Mindfulness & Grief System that is featured in the Handbook of Grief Therapies (2023) and is the founder of Awaken, a mindfulness-based online grief support group. Heather also hosts the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, and offers mindfulness-based grief support online through her organization, the Mindfulness & Grief Institute. She holds a Masters degree in Thanatology (Death, Dying, and Bereavement) from Hood College in Maryland, and is a certified Yoga Therapist. She currently lives in Falling Waters, WV.

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