What Is Equanimity?

By Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT

Whenever I search for a photo that accurately depicts equanimity and the art of mindfulness meditation, I come up short. Stock photo libraries are full of images featuring blissed out models meditating on serene beaches and mountaintops. As an amateur photographer, I appreciate the beauty of these scenes. As a meditator, I know the images are aspirational—not depictions of reality.

Let’s face it, meditation practice can be messy. Not only do we have to carve out a space to practice in a home that might be full of other living beings, but we have our own internal mind clutter to deal with. Taxes. Relationships. To-do lists. Not to mention the barrage of external stimuli — dogs barking, children crying, the sound of traffic, and cell phones chirping.

Life can be messy, too. Fortunately, we do not need to have a pristine internal or external landscape to practice meditation. Meditation, rather, allows us to deconstruct our moment to moment experience so we can separate the feeling tones of our experience from the stories and add-ons that cause us suffering.

what is equanimityWhat Is Equanimity?

Equanimity is the ability to be with what is happening–whether it is pleasurable, unpleasurable or neutral—without reacting to it one way or another. It is one of the four brahmavihāras—the sublime attitudes of Buddhism—along with lovingkindness, compassion, and empathetic joy.

These virtues are developed through practice. They are not prerequisites to practice. In fact, equanimity itself is not a natural human mental state. Spend a few minutes alone with your own mind, and you will quickly learn that we are geared to seek out pleasure and avoid pain and boredom.

I like to think of cultivating equanimity as similar to lifting weights at the gym. Each time you invite your mind back to the present when it wanders, and each time you simply receive sensory input without reacting, it is as if you are lifting weights for your brain.

what is equanimity

New neural pathways are developed, and weeks or months later you realize you are less reactive to disturbances of any kind. Buddha’s Brain Author Rick Hansen, Ph.D. explains:

“With equanimity, what passes through your mind is held with spaciousness so you state even killed and aren’t thrown off balance. The ancient circuitry of the brain is continually driving you to react one way or another—and equanimity is your circuit breaker. Equanimity breaks the chain of suffering by separating the feeling tones of experience from the machinery of craving, neutralizing your reactions to those feeling tones.”

Equanimity Reduces Suffering

Once the idea of distraction melts away, we are left with the pure experience of our six senses. Once we are able to meet each moment with equanimity, we can stop our painful struggle with reality.

I gave up on searching for the perfect image. Instead, I commissioned a cartoonist to illustrate my typical morning meditation practice, in all its glory. Sound arises, sustains, and fades away, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT

About the author

Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT, is a thanatologist, author, grief educator, and speaker who helps people live with loss through mindfulness, self-compassion, and practical grief support. She is the creator of the 8-Step Mindfulness and Grief System, which is featured in The Handbook of Grief Therapies, and the recipient of the 2025 Association for Death Education and Counseling Clinical Practice Award.

Heather is the author of Living with Grief, From Grief to Peace, and Navigating Loss. Through her books, speaking, training, podcasting, and client work, she helps grieving people and helping professionals move beyond myths and platitudes into more honest, compassionate, and sustainable ways of living and working with loss.

Her work is shaped by both professional training and lived experience. Raised in a family marked by profound loss, Heather grew up in what she describes as an ecosystem of grief. Years later, yoga and mindfulness opened a path toward healing that eventually led her to yoga therapy, thanatology, and the development of her mindfulness-based approach to grief.

Heather hosts the Mindfulness and Grief Podcast, serves on the Advisory Board for TAPS, and speaks internationally for bereavement organizations, healthcare systems, mindfulness communities, and grief-adjacent professionals. She is based in Frederick, Maryland.

You might also like