Why a Grief Support Group Can Help

Grief is something we’re all wired to experience, and while it’s natural, that doesn’t make it any easier. Both experts and everyday people will tell you that social support is key to finding your way through loss. But what do you do when that support isn’t readily available? Many of us expect our friends or family to step up and be there when we need them most, but all too often, they just don’t know how to handle our pain.

Sometimes, though, we find unexpected connections in the most surprising places—a classmate you never really connected with reaches out because they too have walked a similar path, or a coworker opens up about their own story of love and loss over coffee. These moments of shared vulnerability can lead to new friendships and deeper connections.

But what if you don’t have any of this? Even if you do, a focused grief group can offer a kind of support that’s different from what you might get in casual friendships. It’s a space where everyone understands the weight of grief, where you can share openly without worrying about being judged. A place where people get it, because they’ve been there too.

Types of Grief Support Groups

Grief support groups are designed to provide that focused, compassionate space where you can process your loss with others who truly understand. Whether you're seeking comfort, validation, or just a place to talk about your loved one, these groups offer a safe, judgment-free environment to express your grief.

You can find grief support groups in a variety of places. Local hospices often run groups for the community, even if your loved one wasn’t in hospice care. Many churches and religious organizations also offer support, creating a spiritual connection for those who find comfort in faith. Hospitals sometimes host grief groups, especially if they have a dedicated bereavement program.

Online options have become more popular and accessible, connecting people from all over the world. Groups like mine, Awaken Online Grief Support, blend live video meetings with self-paced resources and online forums. These spaces allow you to share and receive support, no matter where you are physically, offering the same sense of connection that you’d find in person. Whether you need a space to vent, listen, or just sit with your feelings, these groups can offer the understanding you’re seeking.

Some grief support groups are tailored to specific types of losses. For example, you might find groups dedicated to those grieving after caring for a sick family member, traumatic losses such as suicide, homicide or overdose, the loss of a child, sibling, or military losses to name a few. These groups can provide a unique sense of understanding, as everyone in the room shares a similar type of grief.

Others are organized around themes, offering different approaches to processing and healing. For instance, I run a self-care-focused grief group that blends meditation, yoga, and journaling to help people navigate their grief. It’s a holistic approach that allows participants to care for their bodies, minds, and hearts as they move through their loss. I’ve also heard of grief hiking clubs, where participants find solace in nature while connecting with others who understand their journey. These themed groups offer an alternative to more traditional support spaces, providing not only connection but also a specific activity or focus to ground the grieving process.

Whatever your loss or your needs, there’s likely a group out there that resonates with your unique experience.

What to Look For in a Grief Support Group

When looking for a grief support group, it’s important to find a space that feels safe, comfortable, and supportive. Since grief is such a personal experience, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to support groups. However, there are some key factors that can help guide your decision. The right group should offer a compassionate environment, respect your unique grief process, and provide structure without being rigid. Whether in-person or online, a group should give you a sense of connection, allowing you to share openly and receive support when you need it most. 

1. Experienced, Trained Facilitator

A good grief support group begins with its facilitator. The leader or facilitator should have experience working with grief, whether through formal training, personal experience, or professional qualifications. Their role is not only to provide guidance but to ensure the conversation stays respectful, productive, and emotionally safe.

• Why it matters: An experienced facilitator will know how to handle a range of emotions and topics that arise in grief, from trauma to sadness to anger, without letting the group derail or feel unsafe.

2. Evidence-Based Approach

Grief can be a complex, multifaceted experience, and having a group that draws on research-backed, evidence-based techniques can make a big difference. Evidence-based approaches incorporate methods that have been scientifically proven to be effective in helping people process grief. This could include mindfulness practices, cognitive behavioral strategies, or peer-supported healing techniques.

• Why it matters: Groups that use evidence-based strategies are more likely to help you develop useful coping skills and tools for your grief journey. These techniques have been studied and shown to offer real, lasting benefits.

3. Safe, Supportive Environment

A grief group should be a place where you feel comfortable being yourself. This means you should be able to share openly without fear of judgment or criticism. The facilitator should establish and enforce clear boundaries to ensure everyone has an opportunity to speak, and that no one dominates the conversation.

• Why it matters: Grief can leave you feeling vulnerable, so it’s essential that the group environment feels emotionally safe and supportive. A group where people feel rushed, judged, or dismissed can do more harm than good.

4. Compassionate Community Members

The other group members should provide a supportive, compassionate environment. It can be incredibly healing to hear others share their stories of loss and grief, especially when they listen to yours in return. Look for a group that feels welcoming, where members engage with each other kindly and empathetically.

• Why it matters: A compassionate group can help you feel less alone in your grief. When others truly listen and empathize with your experience, it can provide comfort and validation during an isolating time.

5. Respect for Individual Grief Journeys

No two grief experiences are the same, and a group should recognize and respect this. Look for groups that allow for a variety of grief responses, whether it's sadness, anger, numbness, or even moments of relief. Avoid groups that push a “right way” to grieve or suggest that there is a specific timeline for healing.

• Why it matters: Grief is unique to each person, and you deserve to be in a space that honors your personal process without pushing you to feel or act in a particular way.

6. Structured, Predictable Format

A well-structured group provides comfort and predictability, which can be particularly helpful when everything else in your life feels uncertain. Look for groups with a regular meeting schedule, a clear agenda, and a focus for each session.

• Why it matters: Structure helps you know what to expect, which can ease anxiety about attending. It also ensures the group stays focused and productive, giving everyone a chance to participate meaningfully.

7. Accessibility and Convenience

Whether online or in-person, convenience is an important factor. You might find an online group that fits your schedule better, or an in-person group that's close to home. Look for a group that fits into your life without causing additional stress or logistical difficulties.

• Why it matters: Grief is exhausting, and if a group requires too much effort to attend—such as driving long distances or rearranging your schedule—it may become a burden instead of a support.

What to Avoid in a Grief Support Group

Just as it’s important to know what to look for in a grief support group, it’s equally essential to be aware of what to avoid. The wrong group can leave you feeling unsupported, overwhelmed, or even more isolated. Some groups may have well-meaning intentions but lack the structure, boundaries, or experience necessary to create a safe space for healing. Being mindful of red flags can help ensure you don’t end up in an environment that could hinder your grief journey instead of helping it. Let’s explore some key things to avoid when choosing a grief support group:

1. Rigid Expectations

Beware of any group that tells you there is a “right way” to grieve. While some structure is important, a group that enforces rigid guidelines around how or when you should grieve can be harmful. Grief doesn’t follow a linear path, and the group should honor the fact that everyone’s journey is unique.

• Why it matters: You need space to process your grief at your own pace. Groups with rigid expectations may cause you to feel guilty or inadequate if your grief doesn’t fit their mold.

2. Anecdotal or Unsupported Methods

Some grief groups may rely solely on personal anecdotes or untested theories about grief. While personal stories can be helpful, the group’s overall approach should be grounded in more than just individual experiences. Avoid groups that rely on unsupported methods or unverified claims.

• Why it matters: Unsupported methods may feel helpful in the short term, but they are less likely to provide long-lasting support and tools that you can use outside the group. Evidence-based techniques are more reliable for long-term healing.

3. Lack of Boundaries

Groups without clear boundaries or moderation can quickly become chaotic or emotionally unsafe. Avoid groups where conversations consistently go off-topic, or where one person dominates the discussion. The facilitator should manage the conversation to ensure that everyone gets a chance to speak and that sensitive topics are handled with care.

• Why it matters: Without proper boundaries, a group can feel overwhelming or even triggering, which might leave you feeling worse than when you arrived.

4. Overwhelming Emotional Demand

Grief support groups should provide a sense of comfort and relief, not add to your emotional burden. If you leave a group feeling drained or emotionally overwhelmed every time, it may not be the right fit for you. This is especially important if your loss is recent and your emotional reserves are low.

• Why it matters: The group should help you, not exhaust you. If attending feels like more of a strain than a source of comfort, it’s worth exploring other options.

5. Unqualified or Grieving Facilitators

While personal experience can be incredibly valuable, it’s important that the group leader—whether a professional or a volunteer—has received formal training or mentoring in peer support and group facilitation. They do not have to be a professional, and peer-run groups can be especially helpful, as the leader often shares a deep understanding of loss. However, without proper training, they may struggle to manage difficult topics or emotions that arise during meetings.

Additionally, if the facilitator is still working through their own grief, they may not be fully ready to support others. We are all human, and grief can be complex, but the leader should be able to focus on guiding the group rather than processing their own emotions. You should never feel like you need to support the facilitator; the space should be there for you to receive the care and understanding you need.

• Why it matters: A facilitator who is unprepared or inexperienced can inadvertently cause harm, especially if sensitive topics like trauma, anger, or depression arise. A qualified facilitator ensures the group remains safe and productive.

Online vs. In-Person Grief Support Groups

There are benefits and challenges to both online and in-person grief groups. Choosing between the two depends on your personal preferences and logistical needs.

Online Grief Support Groups

• Benefits: You can join from the comfort of home, making it easier to participate when you’re feeling low on energy. Online groups also offer more flexibility with scheduling and can connect you with people outside of your immediate area.
• Challenges: Online interactions can feel less personal at times, though many groups use video to bridge this gap.

In-Person Grief Support Groups

• Benefits: Face-to-face connections can feel more intimate, and hearing others share their stories in person can be powerful.
• Challenges: In-person groups require more energy to attend—whether that’s driving to the location, being social, or keeping up with a set schedule.

Is a Grief Support Group Right for You Right Now?

While grief support groups can be incredibly helpful, they’re not always the right fit for everyone, especially at certain stages of grief. If your loss is recent, you might not have the emotional energy to fully participate just yet. In that case, it’s important to focus on meeting your basic needs—like sleep, nutrition, and self-care—before taking on the emotional demands of a group.

If you’re dealing with trauma, addiction, or mental health concerns, it’s wise to consult a grief professional or mental health counselor before joining a group. They can help you decide whether a group setting is right for you, or if individual therapy might be more appropriate at this time.

You can also ask for a private consultation with the group facilitator to determine if the group is a good fit, or if it’s the right time for you to join. I offer confidential online consultations to all potential members of my group because when you are grieving it can be hard to make even the simplist of decisions, much less one about your mental health. Having that one-on-one conversation can help you feel more confident about taking the next step.

Conclusion: Finding the Right Grief Support Group

Choosing the right grief support group is a deeply personal decision, and it’s okay to try different options until you find one that feels like a good fit. Whether you’re drawn to the convenience of an online group or prefer the face-to-face connection of in-person meetings, the key is finding a space that makes you feel supported, heard, and understood.

If you’re ready to explore support, consider joining the Awaken Online Grief Support Group. We offer a blend of live video calls, a private forum, and self-paced meditation courses to help you navigate your grief in a compassionate, evidence-based environment. We offer a free 14-day trial, so you can experience the group without any pressure. Reach out today to see how Awaken can support you on your grief journey.