For those grieving, the winter holidays—from Thanksgiving through Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s—can bring mixed emotions. Honoring your needs during this time is important in finding resilience and meaning, even while mourning. A balanced approach that combines coping skills for managing sudden triggers and planned self-care for deeper emotional restoration can help support you through the season.

When grief feels overwhelming, coping skills and self-care serve two unique roles. Coping skills help you respond to moments of emotional intensity as they arise, offering tools to ground yourself when faced with memories or reminders. Self-care, however, is about proactively creating moments of rest and support where you can nurture your mind and body with intention. Together, these approaches can create a compassionate and meaningful season.

Planning ahead can be a powerful tool for navigating the holidays with greater ease and intention. My Grief-Sensitive Holiday Planner is a free worksheet that can help you organize moments for self-care, set boundaries for events, and map out coping strategies in advance. 

With a structured approach, you can create a personalized guide that honors both your needs and your memories, allowing you to move through the season with a little more peace and resilience. Explore our holiday planner to start building a season that supports your healing journey.

Coping Skills: Responding to holiday triggers with self-compassion

Holiday triggers can arise unexpectedly, whether hearing a favorite song, seeing a cherished ornament, or visiting a place filled with memories. In these moments, coping skills are your best ally. They offer a way to respond mindfully to waves of grief and provide a sense of control over how you manage these emotional surges.

Here are some gentle ways to cope when you encounter holiday triggers:

• Take a Few Deep Breaths: When a trigger arises, pause and take three deep breaths. Let each exhale release some of the tension you may feel, and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way.
• Use a Comforting Anchor: Keep a small object, photograph, or memorabilia nearby that helps you feel grounded. It could be a comforting piece of jewelry, a calming affirmation, or a mental image of a safe, peaceful place.
• Embrace Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel what comes up without judgment. Grief can feel overwhelming, but acknowledging each feeling—whether sadness, love, or nostalgia—can soften its intensity and help it pass naturally.

Coping skills can help bring you back to the present, offering a way to gently hold space for your grief. By practicing these skills, you’re building resilience and learning to navigate the emotional waves with compassion and kindness.

Self-Care: Intentionally nurture yourself throughout the season

While coping skills help you manage emotional triggers in the moment, self-care allows you to nurture your well-being proactively, creating emotional space to recharge and restore. By setting aside time for self-care throughout the holiday season, you give yourself the chance to find moments of peace, grounding, and perhaps even joy.

Self-care during the holidays doesn’t have to be elaborate. Simple acts can often have the most powerful effects:

• Don’t Skip the Basics: The busyness of the season can make it easy to skip essentials like regular meals, exercise, or a good night’s sleep. Sticking to these basics can help support your body and mind, making it easier to face the season’s ups and downs.
• Schedule Time Out: Take regular breaks during holiday events or outings to recharge. Allow yourself a few moments to step outside, enjoy a warm drink, or sit quietly with your thoughts. These pauses provide moments of calm that make a busy season feel more manageable.
• Create a Daily Ritual: Adding a small ritual, like lighting a candle or spending a few minutes in meditation, can help foster a sense of calm. Repeating this act each day provides a stable foundation, grounding you in a practice that is steady, supportive, and just for you.

By planning these simple self-care practices, you’re creating a support system that you can draw from throughout the season. In doing so, you nurture resilience, allowing yourself the space to care for your mind and body during a meaningful but challenging time.

Building Resilience and Meaning by Balancing Both

Balancing coping skills and self-care helps you meet grief's immediate and long-term needs. When you make space for coping skills, you’re better prepared for unexpected emotions that may arise. When you plan self-care, you give yourself the gift of intentional rest and restoration.

This thoughtful approach to the season helps build resilience, allowing you to experience a meaningful holiday while honoring your grief and your loved one’s memory. By modifying traditions, you can create new rituals that respect your unique journey, blending the past with the present in a nurturing way.

Ultimately, coping and self-care support you in the journey through grief, helping you find moments of comfort and presence in the midst of loss. As you honor yourself and your loved one this holiday season, remember the importance of balancing coping skills and self-care. May you find moments of peace and resilience as you navigate this season.