Our ability to feel loss deeply, be it the death of a loved one or a significant non-death loss like the end of a relationship or a big life change, shows we’re engaged in the full spectrum of human experiences. It proves we're alive and fully invested in our relationships and passions. So feeling the sting of grief is actually healthy. It’s a natural part of life that validates the depth of our connections. (Navigating Loss, p. 20)

Loss is usually associated with death, yet the pain of secondary and non-death losses is also deeply impactful. These quieter, often overlooked griefs emerge in the wake of various life changes, such as the end of a career, the dissolution of a relationship, a financial setback, or a health diagnosis. 

In my new book, Navigating Loss, I shine a light on these invisible griefs and give you practical exercises to honor and heal these secondary losses with the care they deserve. By acknowledging and tending to these disenfranchised griefs, we allow ourselves the space to heal.

Below, I share the practical approaches outlined in Navigating Loss to process and work through these subtle but significant griefs. For detailed exercises to help you address each step below, get your copy of the book today. 

12 Ways to Cope With Secondary and Non-Death Losses

Step 1: Name Your Loss

Secondary and non-death losses are frequently disenfranchised—viewed as “lesser” or unworthy of grief. Naming your loss is the first step in validating its impact. Grief can exist in various forms. Each loss, whether a person, a role, or a vision for the future, deserves acknowledgment. Naming your grief affirms your feelings are real and worth exploring.

For more on this practice, visit 4 Tips to Navigate Disenfranchised Grief and Non-Death Losses

Step 2: Chart Your Grief Timeline

One of the exercises in Navigating Loss involves creating a Personal Grief and Growth Timeline. This involves visually mapping significant life events that have shaped your experience of grief, including moments of change, loss, and growth. Take note of your journey, and notice patterns or recurring themes.

For more on this practice, visit Crafting Your Personal Grief and Growth Timeline.

Step 3: Building Coping Skills

Coping skills are crucial tools for navigating hidden losses. I encourage you to inventory and develop your healthy coping mechanisms (such as mindfulness and movement) and recognize unhelpful habits (such as excessive distraction or numbing behaviors). By mindfully selecting coping techniques that help you engage when you can and take a break when you need it, you can tend to your grief with compassion and strength.

Learn the difference between self-soothing and self-numbing in this article. 

Step 4: Move Your Body

Grief takes a toll on your body. Simple practices like walking, yoga, or stretching can release physical tension and ground you in the present. Personally, I enjoy simple and gentle body awareness practices, like feeling the sensation of my feet on the ground or focusing on the rhythm of my breath. Your body not only sends you signals when things are out of balance, but it will respond to the care you show it and calm your inner storms

Step 5: Practice Mindfulness to See the Bigger Picture and Savor the Present

Mindfulness allows you to observe your experience without judgment. Practicing mindfulness helps create distance from overwhelming thoughts so you can see the broader landscape of your life, even amidst pain. I recommend starting with simple breath-focused mindfulness exercises, such as noting the sensation of inhaling and exhaling, which can ground you and help you find perspective amid loss.

Step 6: Befriend Self-Compassion

Compassion is essential, particularly in grieving invisible losses that may go unacknowledged by others. Self-compassion exercises invite you to treat yourself as you would a dear friend. Practice speaking kindly to yourself when experiencing difficult emotions, acknowledging the pain without adding layers of judgment or guilt.

Get a fresh approach to self-compassion in Nurturing Self-Compassion Through Metaphor and Creativity

Step 7: Revisit Your Story Through Journaling

Mindful journaling is a central practice in Navigating Loss, and time and again has given me a safe space to revisit and reframe my grief story. When you journal, write freely and without censorship, allowing emotions and memories to surface. This exercise brings clarity to your experience, helps you process complex emotions, and uncovers the subtle shifts and growth that may occur along the way.

Step 8: Rituals and Marking Life’s Unseen Milestones

Rituals offer a tangible way to honor invisible losses and mark life’s milestones that might otherwise pass unnoticed. Create personal rituals—such as lighting a candle, planting a tree, or dedicating a day to self-reflection—that allow you to pay tribute to what you have lost and recognize the new chapters unfolding.

Step 9: Reframe the Loss

Reframing is a powerful technique for transforming your relationship with loss. In Navigating Loss, encourage you to explore all the changes that are the result of your loss, then explore new perspectives that may reveal growth, resilience, or unexpected insights. While loss remains, reframing can foster a sense of continuity, allowing you to integrate the loss meaningfully into your life.

Step 10: Sharing Your Story

Sharing your story with others can be liberating and validating. Find safe spaces—whether in a support group, a journal, or through creative expression—where you can give voice to your experience. Expressing your grief, even in small ways, connects you to others who carry similar burdens, breaking down the isolation that often accompanies invisible grief.

Step 11: Supporting Others

As you work through your own losses, offering support to others experiencing similar grief can be healing. Being present for someone else, even in a small way, can be transformative. Offering understanding and compassion for others often strengthens your own resilience, grounding you in the comfort of shared humanity.

Step 12: Cultivating Global Compassion

Expanding your awareness beyond your personal griefs to recognize the collective losses others may be experiencing worldwide—whether it’s social, environmental, political, or economic suffering—global compassion can remind us that we are part of a larger world, helping to put our own experiences into perspective and deepen our empathy for others.

Your Guide To Navigating Loss

Navigating invisible losses requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to honor what might otherwise go unrecognized. Navigating Loss provides valuable guidance and tools, helping you embrace these quieter griefs and move toward healing. By acknowledging these hidden pains, you create space to honor our entire human experience and cultivate resilience. For more tools and insights on how to live fully with loss, get your copy of  Navigating Loss here.