In this article, I’ve listed 15 ways to honor your deceased loved one and organized it into three sections—individual, family, rituals for children—so you can choose the activities that best fit your Thanksgiving gathering. 

Thanksgiving has always been a time of mixed emotions for me. My first Thanksgiving after losing my Uncle Doug left a lasting mark; he had passed just a month before the holiday, and although I was only seven, I could feel the heavy silence in the air. My grandmother, still reeling from the loss of her son, did everything as she always had—setting a beautiful table, making our family’s Southern dishes—but everything felt different.

Unfortunately we didn't have the grief literacy to understand the importance of having a ritual to express our love for my Uncle in a communal way. This is why I want to share this list with you. As a grief counselor, I help members of my grief support group find their own way to honor their deceased loved one on Thanksgiving. While some prefer to do it with their families, others 

Naturally, you will never forget your loved one. Finding a way to honor your love and their life will bring comfort and connection to the celebration, and maybe help your family feel a little more love and a little less pain.

15 Ways to Honor Your Deceased Loved One On Thanksgiving

Family-centered rituals are wonderful for bringing everyone together to share memories, while child-focused activities gently help younger ones process and honor their feelings. For those moments when you want to connect privately with your loved one’s memory, individual rituals offer a quiet, personal way to honor them. By considering each of these options, you can create a Thanksgiving filled with meaning, reflection, and remembrance.

Individual Rituals

These personal activities are ideal if you’re spending Thanksgiving alone or simply want a private way to honor your loved one. Each of these rituals can be done quietly, helping you connect deeply with the memory of your loved one.

1. Write Them a Letter of Gratitude

• Sit down with a pen and paper, and write a letter expressing what you’re most thankful for about your loved one. Think about the ways they enriched your life—their humor, wisdom, kindness—and the specific memories that make you smile. If they had a unique phrase or saying, include it as a tribute. Keep the letter in a special place, like a memory box, to revisit each year.

2. Meditate on Their Impact on You

• Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and bring your loved one’s image to mind, reflecting on the unique ways they’ve shaped your life—whether it’s their humor, kindness, or shared passions. Focus on the traits and perspectives they left with you, considering which ones you want to carry forward or release. When ready, open your eyes, carrying this sense of connection with you throughout Thanksgiving.

3. Visit a Place They Loved

• If there’s a place that was meaningful to your loved one, such as a favorite park, beach, or scenic spot, take time to visit it. Bring along a photo of them, and spend a few quiet moments reflecting. You might even say a few words or play their favorite song on your headphones as a way to feel close.

4. Create a Small Memorial Space at Home

• Set up a dedicated area with a few personal items that remind you of your loved one. This could include a favorite book, a small trinket, or a candle. Place a photo or an object that reflects their personality or passion. Spend a few moments there to reflect on your memories and to feel their presence.

5. Read or Listen to Something They Loved

• Pick a book, poem, song, or even a movie they loved and take time to enjoy it as a way to honor their spirit. This ritual can be especially comforting if it’s something you enjoyed together. Reflect on the moments you shared around this favorite thing, feeling close to their memory as you experience it again.

Family Rituals

These activities are perfect for bringing the whole family together in remembrance. They provide an opportunity to share stories, celebrate memories, and find comfort in each other’s presence.

1. Set a Place at the Table

• Set a spot at the table for your loved one, complete with a candle, photo, or an item that symbolizes them. If they had a favorite drink or dish, place it there as well. This simple yet meaningful gesture allows everyone to feel their presence at the meal.

2. Host a Memory Sharing Roundtable

• Before the meal begins, invite each family member to share a favorite memory or story about your loved one. You could make it a theme, like sharing their funniest story or a moment when they made someone feel loved. This creates a warm, collective remembrance that celebrates their life and the way they touched everyone present.

3. Create a Memory Playlist

• Invite each family member to add a song that reminds them of your loved one to a special playlist. It could be a song they loved, something they used to sing, or a tune that brings up a special memory. Play the playlist during Thanksgiving as a way to feel close to them, sharing stories behind each song and what it meant to your loved one or to your family. This playlist can become a treasured part of future gatherings, allowing everyone to connect through music and memory.

4. Create a “Thankful for You” Jar

• Set out a jar and have each family member write something they’re thankful for about your loved one. These notes might include a quality they admired, a special memory, or a way the person helped them. Later, you can read these notes aloud, sharing in the collective gratitude for their life and legacy.

5. Light a Candle and Say a Tribute Together

• Begin the meal by lighting a candle in their honor. Invite family members to say a few words, whether it’s a simple “I miss you” or a brief story. This moment of acknowledgment allows everyone to pause, reflect, and feel your loved one’s spirit before the meal begins.

Children’s Rituals

These activities are crafted to help children remember and honor their loved one in a gentle, supportive way. Simple and creative, each ritual allows children to process their feelings while feeling connected to the person they miss.

1. Draw Your Favorite Memory

• Invite children to draw a picture of their favorite memory with the loved one, whether it’s a holiday moment, a fun outing, or something simple that made them feel happy. As they draw, ask them about the memory and encourage them to share the story with the family. This activity helps them connect with their feelings, and sharing the story brings their loved one’s memory into the Thanksgiving gathering in a gentle, comforting way.

2. Bake a Favorite Dessert Together

• If your loved one had a favorite dessert, let the kids help you bake it. Share stories about why this dessert was meaningful to them, and let the children decorate it with sprinkles or icing. This sweet ritual can help children feel connected through the simple act of baking and enjoying the treat together.

3. Make a Memory Centerpiece

• Help children make a special Thanksgiving centerpiece to honor your loved one. They can add drawings, a favorite photo, or small items that remind them of that person—like a flower they loved or a tiny keepsake. Encourage them to share a story about each item as they add it to the centerpiece, bringing their own memories to the table. This simple, hands-on activity lets children feel included in honoring their loved one, creating a visual tribute filled with love and remembrance.

4. Watch Their Favorite Movie Together

• Choose a family-friendly movie that your loved one enjoyed and watch it together as a family. Before starting, explain why the movie was meaningful to your loved one, and encourage the kids to share any thoughts or questions that come up during the film. This shared experience can bring comfort and help children connect to the person they miss.

5. Read a Story About Loss and Hope

• Find a gentle, age-appropriate book about loss and read it with the children. This story can open up a discussion about how they feel and invite them to share memories. Books that gently explore the concept of loss can help children process their emotions and understand that it’s okay to miss someone. One of my favorites for this time of year is The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages.

As you honor your loved one this Thanksgiving, remember that each small act of remembrance helps keep their spirit close, bringing comfort and connection to the day. Grieving through the holidays can be challenging, but taking time to celebrate their life in meaningful ways can bring moments of peace and even joy. If you need extra support or simply want a space to share your experience, consider joining my grief group or scheduling a private counseling session. You don’t have to go through this alone—together, we can find ways to carry their memory forward with love and resilience.