I did not begin my career in a therapy room. I was a 29-year-old web designer with a nervous system on fire. When shingles hit, a nurse practitioner suggested yoga. Yoga broke open my heart and released grief that had gone untended for 23 years: my uncle’s death, my parents’ divorce, and all the other losses, death and non-death alike. That opening was not a breakdown. It was a gateway to the tool that has become my bedrock: mindfulness.
I sold my company, trained as a yoga therapist, earned a master’s in thanatology in honor of my Uncle Doug, and began teaching mindfulness to grieving people. Those early classes grew into the eight-step Mindfulness & Grief System. It offers what I most needed as a clinician: structure with spaciousness. There is a clear path, and there is room to meet each person as they are.
Years later, when life pressed hard again, I recommitted to daily mindfulness and community care. That season reminded me of a truth I return to every day with clients: mindfulness is not a concept. It is a practice that steadies me in the room with grief, so I can keep doing this work with a full heart.
Why mindfulness makes us better clinicians
1) We regulate ourselves so we can co-regulate clients
Regular practice strengthens attention and emotional regulation. In session, that looks like noticing activation in your own body, naming it, and settling enough to stay present. Clinicians and trainees who complete mindfulness programs show less stress reactivity and rumination and more positive affect (Shapiro, Brown, & Biegel, 2007; Britton et al., 2012).
2) We reduce burnout and sustain compassion
Burnout is common in grief and trauma work. A systematic review found strong evidence that mindfulness practice reduces job burnout among health care professionals (Luken & Sammons, 2016). When we protect our energy, we protect the alliance and the work. PMC
3) We strengthen therapeutic presence and attunement
Presence is not passive. It is an active, steady attention that clients can feel. A qualitative study of beginning therapists found mindfulness practice improved emotional presence and tolerance for intense material without rushing to fix it (McCollum & Gehart, 2010). That matches my experience: mindfulness helps me hear what is said and what is unsaid and let the right technique emerge rather than forcing a one-size-fits-all solution. Wiley Online Library
4) We enhance empathy, self-compassion, and clinical confidence
Mindfulness-based training increases self-compassion, empathy, and counseling self-efficacy, which shows up as calmer teaching of micro-skills and clearer decision-making in session (Shapiro et al., 2007; Chan, Yu, & Li, 2021). Greater GoodPubMed
5) Our clients do better when we practice
A randomized, double-blind study found that patients of psychotherapists who meditated had better outcomes than patients of non-meditating therapists (Grepmair et al., 2007). Our practice changes the relational field, and the results show up in the room. PubMed
How this looks in the room
I teach mindfulness inside a flexible framework. Structure keeps sessions purposeful. Spaciousness keeps them human.
Structure. I use clear micro-skills that fit the moment. Orienting to the room. A three-breath reset. A two-minute body scan focused on feet and hands. A compassion phrase when shame is loud. These short skills regulate the nervous system and give clients something to practice between sessions.
Spaciousness. Mindfulness helps me stay open to what is needed now. One client may need breath as an anchor. Another may feel safer with sound or touch points. Some respond to compassion practice. Others find stability in mindful movement or a simple journaling cue. The framework keeps me organized, not rigid. The session is guided by the client’s body, culture, beliefs, and capacity today.
Common moments you might recognize:
- When the story floods the room. Slow the pace, invite one felt sensation, and breathe together. Name the urge to fix. Return to the anchor.
- When shame is in charge. Offer a brief compassion phrase. If self-directed care feels out of reach, start with a neutral other.
- When you feel yourself tightening. Notice, soften jaw and shoulders, and take three slow exhales. Let your body become a co-regulating signal.
- When grief collides with identity. Make room for both the pain of the old story and the curiosity of who I am now. Curiosity is the doorway to meaning, values-aligned action, and gentle identity shifts.
Bring mindfulness into your practice this week
- Pick one anchor and use it daily for seven days. Breath, sound, or touch points. Two to ten minutes. Consistency over duration.
- Open one session with a micro-practice. Three breaths. Then ask, “What do you notice right now.”
- Close one session with a compassion phrase. For example, “This is hard. May I meet this with kindness.”
- Reflect on fit. After each session, note which cue seemed to land, which did not, and what you might try next time.
- Stay within scope. Trauma and grief require attuned pacing and cultural humility. Mindfulness skills do not replace safety planning or specialized care when indicated.
If you want ready-to-use prompts, I put my favorite Mindful Grief Coaching Cues into a simple handout you can use with clients or for your own self-care. It reflects the spirit of my approach: clear structure and real spaciousness. No pressure to perform. Just the next steady breath and the next kind step.
What the research says: Benefits of Mindfulness for Therapists and Clinicians
- Therapist mindfulness → better client outcomes. Randomized, double-blind trial with psychotherapy trainees: clients of meditating therapists improved more (Grepmair et al., 2007).
- Burnout drops with practice. Systematic review reports strong evidence mindfulness reduces job burnout in helping professionals (Luken & Sammons, 2016).
- Presence and tolerance for intensity improve. Mindfulness training helped beginning therapists cultivate therapeutic presence (McCollum & Gehart, 2010).
- Self-care for clinicians works. MBSR for therapists-in-training reduced stress, negative affect, and rumination while increasing positive affect and self-compassion (Shapiro et al., 2007).
- Reactivity calms. MBCT decreased emotional reactivity to social stress in controlled lab testing (Britton et al., 2012).
- Confidence grows. Mindfulness training increased counseling self-efficacy in a randomized crossover trial (Chan, Yu, & Li, 2021).
References (APA style with live links)
Chan, S. H. W., Yu, C. K., & Li, A. W. O. (2021). Impact of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy on counseling self-efficacy: A randomized controlled crossover trial. Patient Education and Counseling, 104(2), 360–368. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32798079/
Grepmair, L., Mitterlehner, F., Loew, T., Bachler, E., Rother, W., & Nickel, M. (2007). Promoting mindfulness in psychotherapists in training influences the treatment results of their patients: A randomized, double-blind, controlled study. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 76(6), 332–338. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17917468/
Luken, M., & Sammons, A. (2016). Systematic review of mindfulness practice for reducing job burnout. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 70(2), 1–10. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4776732/
McCollum, E. E., & Gehart, D. R. (2010). Using mindfulness meditation to teach beginning therapists therapeutic presence: A qualitative study. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 36(3), 347–360. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2010.00214.x Library
Shapiro, S. L., Brown, K. W., & Biegel, G. M. (2007). Teaching self-care to caregivers: Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in training. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, 1(2), 105–115. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Shapiro-Self_Care_Mindfulness_to_Caregivers_and_Therapists_on_Well_Being.pdf
Britton, W. B., Shahar, B., Szepsenwol, O., & Jacobs, W. J. (2012). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy improves emotional reactivity to social stress: Results from a randomized controlled trial. Behavior Therapy, 43(2), 365–380. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3495556/
